Now I am sorta a home/design blog-lovin’ fool so, if you aren’t, I will try not to judge you by your response to the following question:
Don’t you just love Emily Henderson?
If your answer is, “No”: Firstly, you are wrong. Secondly, I must regretfully inform you that we can no longer be friends (I said I would try not to judge, I didn’t say I would be successful).
If your answer is, “Who is Emily Henderson?”: You need to immediately stop what you are doing and click on the link above. Isn’t she just about the cutest thing alive? Right up there with Shar Pei puppies and everything on this list (minus the rodents, those are just freaky).
If your answer is “Yes! I Love Her”: Congratulations! I am happy to say that you are right and you should keep reading this post. The thing is, I think I may have a girl crush. Emily is so darn genuine, SO darn talented (see her living room design below. Heeeeelllllooooo dream living room!) and so darn quirky. She is simply adorable in every way.
So you can imagine that my heartbeat quickened and my palms started to sweat when I saw this post on her blog.
What? They are hiring?!?!?!?! I want need that job! Did you read the job description? It is as if that job was MADE for me! That is, the me that I wish that I was. Yeah, as much as I hate to dash my own dreams so quickly, I am perhaps not the best “fit” for this position. Firstly, I live a good 12 hours away from LA….by plane. Perhaps more importantly, I am not remotely qualified.
Or am I? Taking my own advice and channeling the overly confident self that I wrote about here, I decided I would apply. Below you will find the cover letter I sent* to Emily and Ginny.
March 21, 2014
Dear Emily and Ginny,
I am writing to submit my application for the design/blog assistant position you advertised this week. I know you are really busy people and I happen to really like you, so I feel obligated to let you know in advance that I am in no way qualified and/or actually able to come and work with you.
That being said, I really, really WANT to! On the remote chance that this is the only application you should receive and you are desperate to fill the position, please feel free to give me a call and we can see if we can work something out. Kapeesh?
Firstly, you should know that I live in Beijing, China. Some might say that commuting between Beijing and LA is impractical. They would probably be right. But you should know that I am willing to relocate to LA at a moment’s notice, unless I win the HGTV Dream House. In that case, I am moving to Truckee.
Please allow me to address the qualifications I have regarding job description you outlined on your blog. I do not have and graphic design experience per se, but my brother-in-law is a graphic designer so I do know certain “insider information”. For instance, I know that graphic designers think Helvetica rules the world and that using Comic Sans is akin to making out with your sister. As in, you just don’t do it. In fact, it doesn’t even cross your mind. It is just. THAT. gross. I also know that its called “typeface” not “font”.
I do not, however, know how to use Photoshop or what exactly you mean when you say “renderings”. Alas, these are mere skills; and skills can be learned. A few youtube tutorials and I am sure I will be able to get up to speed. Nothing to worry about.
As far as mood boards are concerned, you will be happy to know that I recently learned how to make one. I’ve made a grand total of 2 now (this and this) so basically I am an expert. I am also currently on my way to mastering WordPress, as evidenced by this blog. Admittedly, I still can’t figure out how to get a little picture of me to appear above the ‘what is this blog all about’ widget, but on the positive side, I now know what a widget is.
I am a teacher by trade so research and spreadsheets are right in my wheelhouse. And while I do not craft all that often, I do pin a lot of crafting ideas onto my Pinterest page with the intention of someday becoming crafty. I think I have craftiness in me, but please understand that there is a serious lack of mod podge in China and that is currently holding me back from reaching my crafting potential.
You should also know that I am a mama, so it is safe to say I am well practiced at cleaning and performing general administrative tasks, often at the same time. For instance, I can mop up spilled milk, make a doctor’s appointment, cook dinner and tend to boo boo’s simultaneously. Also my husband basically has OCD, so my organizational skills are off the hook! Organization is an essential skill to possess for the survival of my marriage.
Making returns and shopping? Uh, this is a no-brainer. It is basically my favorite pastime and I am pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. Styling and photo shoots? Sure. Why not. I even own a DSLR camera and if the lighting is just right and no one is moving, I can churn out a pretty decent photograph.
But perhaps most importantly, I love, love, love babies and flea markets. Not just like…love, love, love! So essentially, I am overqualified when you evaluate me by this measure.
Okay ladies, I am sure you need to get back to sifting through resumes and I need to get back to reality, so I will sign off here. But just know that I am only a long-distance phone call away should you require my services.
Yours in alternative and distant realities,
*Sent = did not actually send. Don’t worry.