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Hi.

Welcome, friends! This here slice of the Internet revolves around lattes, bookshelves, Pinterest, Emily Henderson, white wine spritzers, China, brass anything, passports and my sweet family. Grammar and important worldly events? Not so much. Consider yourself warned.

Kindness, Ineptitude and Pillows

Kindness, Ineptitude and Pillows

I like this quote:

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It is true. Everyone has problems. We should be nice to people.

Granted some people are assholes and their problems are teeny-tiny…but…that is not the point. The point is we should be kind. You just never know what kind of troubles people are going through.

Like take me, for example. I may look all happy-go-lucky on the outside but, I’m not too proud to admit it, I’ve got troubles. For instance, at this very moment I can’t figure out where my ayi put my favorite maternity leggings. BAM! Troubles.

(And no…I am not pregnant. I am just a wee bit chubby. And a lot bit interested in the wearing the comfiest pants ever invented. And just in case you were wondering…regular maternity pants, like jeans, aren’t really all that great (unless, of course, you are pregnant). But maternity leggings? Seriously…they are amazing! The fact that they exist is actually a huge problem because I have absolutely no incentive to lose weight. Except that when I wear them I feel the complete opposite of hot. But whatevs…I think I can live with that, at least for a few more months.  Seriously, go buy some. I won’t judge).

Focus Dittmar! Pull yourself together…you were talking about your troubles.

Right. My troubles…

I’ve got other troubles too. I’ve got a stack of grading that refuses to grade itself, a 6 month-old who loves to have a 4 a.m. chat, a 4 year-old that insists on getting COMPLETELY naked every time he needs to poop and a husband that continues to talk to me about sports like I care. But my most troubling trouble is something I am a bit ashamed to admit. It is embarrassing. And demoralizing. And I can’t keep it hidden any longer.

I’m throw-pillow challenged. There. I said it.

I may be able to create a gallery wall and style a bookshelf with *relative* ease but damn if plopping some pillows on a couch doesn’t totally perplex me. I suck at it.

Let’s look at the sorry state of my couch right now:

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It probably looks like I just gathered whatever pillows I had lying around and just threw them on the couch haphazardly. But unfortunately, that is not the case. The sad reality is that I actually tried. Some of those pillows traveled halfway around the world just to live pathetically like that on my couch. Yup. It is true. This past summer I hauled one whole suitcase filled with throw pillows back to China with me (BTW…Brado loved that. It is his favorite thing about me).

I seriously try. And I seriously don’t get it. Why does Amber’s couch look like this:

here

here

And mine looks like this?:


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IMG_7493

Did you notice that it is even the exact same couch. One just looks amazing and one looks like the couch equivalent of Kathy Bates.

Not gonna lie. It gets me down. I really have to talk myself off the ledge when I come face to face with it every morning. It just stands there mocking me.

I tell myself, “It’s okay Dittmar. Everyone has their strengths. You, for instance, are really good at drinking lattes, spending money and rambling on for inordinate amounts of time about pillow problems on your blog. Not everyone can be good at throw-pillowing.”

True. I can accept that.

Wait. No I can’t! That’s bullshit. They are pillows. Strips of fabric stuffed with feathers. I am a person. With moderate  intelligence and talent…at least more than a pillow. I can’t just lie down and let them beat me. I can do this!

And with that little pep talk, I’ve spent the past 2 weeks drooling over pillows. This is what I’ve found:

Screen Shot 2014-11-16 at 8.57.19 AM

Screen Shot 2014-11-16 at 8.57.19 AM

Fun, right?  I CAN do this! Personally, I L.O.V.E. Option One. What do you think?

In my research, I also found these poor little guys. It is so sad…they do not have a home that loves them. We should adopt them right Brado? It is what Jesus would do.

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(If I was a real blogger, I would have made it so you could just click on a pillow you like and it would take you to the store where you could purchase it. Dodged a bullet on that one. And thank God, because that sounds like an awful lot of work. So where did I find these pillows? Your guess is a good as mine, darlin. Chances are Etsy…but one can never be too sure when your primary pillow stalking hours occurs between 3-4 in the morning while simultaneously nursing a hungry baby.)

Unfortunately all that “research” was for naught.  The pillows above will not actually find their way to my couch. You see my problems are bigger than just finding cute pillows. I am ultimately trying to find cute pillows that go with this rug:

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I am almost certain this is the hardest rug on the planet to try and coordinate with throw pillows. Fact. I cannot figure out what works.

Why not change the rug, you say?

NO WAY!!!! How dare you! I love that rug. Well, sorta. If I am perfectly honest, I do love the rug but I don’t really love it in our family room (if I am really, really honest I only like the rug but I can’t say that or my husband will kill me). I find it a tad too traditional for my tastes and a tad too busy for our family room. But that doesn’t matter. The rug stays. Or my marriage will be over. And I really love my husband.

So instead of just throwing caution to the wind and buying all the adorable pillows I really want, I have found myself trying to crack the code on what will actually go with our rug.

I even visited the local pillow/rug shop and brought home tons of samples to test out. All of which looked real…ummm…..how do you say? Shitty.

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So it was back to the drawing board. After countless hours (or maybe minutes) of research, this is where I am at:

Screen Shot 2014-11-16 at 3.22.35 PM

Screen Shot 2014-11-16 at 3.22.35 PM

They are neutral-ish, but colorful. There is pattern and texture, but it is not too loud. And I *think* they may just go with the rug. What do you think? Should these little babies make the trek back to China with me after the Christmas break? Will they solve my throw pillow woes? Or am I just going to be back here in two months complaining that my couch is second-rate?

I’m afraid of your answer but I will go forth as though you just hollered “BUY THEM! DO IT!! THEY LOOK AMAZING! YOLO!”.

Now just picture me walking around my house singing “All I want for Christmas is a throw pil-low, a throw pil-low, a throw pil-low. All I want for Christmas is a throw pil-low and maybe some decorative sconc-es.

Holiday Roundup

Holiday Roundup

Ho, Ho, Holy S#@*

Ho, Ho, Holy S#@*