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Hi.

Welcome, friends! This here slice of the Internet revolves around lattes, bookshelves, Pinterest, Emily Henderson, white wine spritzers, China, brass anything, passports and my sweet family. Grammar and important worldly events? Not so much. Consider yourself warned.

Phase Four

Phase Four

About 5 weeks ago we went to Thailand for a little escape from the 24-7 barrage of fireworks that is otherwise known as Chinese New Year. We soaked up the sunshine, laughed with friends, drank cold beverages in perfectly warm pools and came back totally refreshed and relaxed.

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I had every intention of writing up a little recap for you but then…crazy, busy, hectic life grabbed me by the throat, shook me like a rag doll and screamed violently, “YOU DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS SORT OF NONSENSE! FUN IS NOT IN YOUR VOCABULARY. DO YOU HEAR ME?????”

You see, my friends, the last 5 weeks represent the time of year when I start to seriously contemplate pursuing a new career as a Starbucks barista. Or the real-life equivalent of a Dunder-Mifflen receptionist. Or the person that runs the ticket booth at that dying half-priced movie theatre in the dilapidated downtown of Anywhere, USA. Basically, think of the most boring and least stressful job in the world. THAT job is the one I have been dreaming about.

And, for the record, as recently as yesterday, I would have happily accepted that job had anyone been so kind as to offer. #truth

But today…today I would have to respectfully decline such an offer. Today, I am singing a different tune. Today, I couldn’t be happier. Today, I have officially transitioned into Phase 4.

What are these phases you speak of, Ditty? Do tell.

Well, I’ll summarize briefly (just because you asked so nicely) but then we are moving on, okay? This post is supposed to be about Thailand. You seriously need to quit distracting me.

Each school year, teachers cycle through 5 distinct phases.

Phase 1: Optimism

Lasts from: August-mid October

Teachers can be overheard saying:

“I love my job. I feel energized. I feel rested. Life is good. Summer was fun but I am ready to get back to a routine. Students are so darn cute and lovely and just enthusiastic about learning. I really missed them. This year I am going to be an awesome teacher. I might even win some awards.”

Phase 2: Reality

Lasts from: mid-October–December

Teachers can be overheard saying:

“My job is pretty great, but it is stressful. And, see that guy over there? Yeah. That guy over there is super annoying. Why does he feel the need to talk at every meeting? And speaking of meetings, why are there so many meetings? And meetings about future meetings? At this point, I’m about 2 weeks behind on grading but I’m pretty sure I can catch up…if I take a sick day. Do I have a lesson plan for tomorrow? Yes. Well, sorta. Good enough. Also, the students are awesome….except on Mondays; and during the last lesson of every day; and around report writing time. I need a nap.”

Phase 3: Despair

Lasts from: January-end of March:

Teachers can be overheard saying:

“Things are bleak. It is cold. The best part of my day is eating a school lunch that consists of overcooked pasta and undercooked cauliflower. Also, I have lost my phone. I suspect it is under the pile of marking on my desk but I’m too weak to pick up the stack of papers to look for it because I haven’t exercised in 5 months. The students have lost their souls. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I saw a student smile. They just stare at me a start drooling out of the corner of their mouths. In return, I offer them some profoundly uninspiring lessons because I have had zero time to actually plan anything. Seriously, where the F#*$ is my phone? My confidence is at an all time low. Is Starbucks hiring?”

Phase 4: Hope

Lasts from: April-last day of school

Teachers can be overheard saying:

“What the…? What is that? Is that light? Is that my phone? Did that kid just smile? Oh, and what is this tingling sensation? Could it be relief? Joy? Boredom? I think I’m going to make it.”

Phase 5: Bliss (a.k.a. summer)

Lasts from: Last day of school-first day of school

Teachers can be overheard saying:

“I will never quit teaching. The end.”

So…yeah….today I arrived in Phase 4. There is hope and now I finally have a minute to revisit that trip we took back in February. I’ll limit number of photos and the commentary, as this trip is almost a carbon copy of this trip and this trip. But it was wonderful and lovely nonetheless and I wanna put it in the books so I remember it fo’evah yo!

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There you have it…a sweet little trip that offered me a much needed respite during a particularly brutal Phase 3.

Oh yeah, guess how else I know I have officially landed in Phase 4?

This…

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Right now I am in Singapore, lounging by a pool and get this…I’m all by myself! No husband. No kids. No need for a VPN.

WHAT?????

Yeah…the dream is real folks. And you can bet that I’m gonna tell you all about all it real soon! But I leave you now to hastily apply sunscreen to my pale, virgin skin. Note to self:  I should probably consider exercising sometime again in the near future.

Singapore Sans Family

Singapore Sans Family

Whyth I Blogth

Whyth I Blogth