On Having Goals...
A couple weeks ago, when I linked my latest blog post to Facebook, I alluded to the fact that I had stopped drinking coffee. As a refresher, here is a screenshot of that status update:
Upon seeing this you all questioned my intentions and sanity, and rightfully so. Here are some of my favorites:
People were outraged.
Ok…that is a slight exaggeration, but I do feel I owe you an explanation nonetheless, so here it goes.
Kicking my coffee addiction was all part of my master plan to get healthy once and for all, damn it! It is not that I am totally unhealthy, but it is fair to say that I am in a bit of a health rut.
Since having Finely, I have found it difficult to get back into a regular exercise routine. That little peanut consumes a lot of my time, true enough. But let’s not forget that I am also pretty gifted at finding excuses to not exercise. Like “forgetting” my workout clothes at home or “needing” a pedicure.
Also, because Finely still wakes up in the night (or maybe just because it is just so damn delicious), I have started to rely heavily on coffee to get me through the day (or…full disclosure…sometimes multiple coffees) .
These two things coupled with my love of cheese, chocolate chip cookies and basically anything that includes the word ‘fried’ in it, have left me with a bit more to love…if you know what I’m sayin’.
So the grand plan was to get all serious about getting healthy. Initially, I tossed around the idea of going really extreme, like doing the Whole 30 plan (which is basically a Paleo diet without the caveman theory). I even bought and read the Whole 30 book. I was serious. But clearly not all that serious because ultimately the idea of not even being able to have honey (or wine) just seemed too intense for me. Instead, I decided that for the 5 weeks leading up to summer, I would focus on three simple things. I would:
Eliminate my daily Grande Latte. It is like 220 frivolous calories or something like that. Multiply that by 2 for the days when I go back for a second cup (ummm….let’s not talk about how frequently that happens).
Exercise at least 3 times a week.
Make better meal choices. Less carbs. More veggies. No cookies. More apples. Yadda, yadda, yadda. You know…just the basics.
This all seems pretty reasonable, right?
Yeah, I thought so too. But holy shit, y’all. It has now been about two weeks and I am here to tell you, I have failed. Like, do not pass go and do not even think about collecting 200 dollars sort-of failure.
My first taste of failure came approximately 2 days and 4 hours after I stopped drinking coffee. I wish I could accurately capture in words just how miserable I was without my morning latte in my life. I was grumpy and short-tempered. I was sad and listless. I had a MASSIVE headache and was seriously consumed by obsessive thoughts of driving to the nearest coffee shop and getting my fix. At one point I was moved to tears. I wish I was kidding.
So yeah. I always sort of suspected it, but I think I might be addicted to coffee. For realz.
And, I will acknowledge that being addicted to coffee is probably not a great thing. But I have also decided that being addicted to coffee is SOOOOO much better than being a horrible, mean person. I like my caffeinated self. My caffeine-deprived self? Not so much.
So with that, I am back to drinking coffee.
But what about the other two initiatives? How am I doing on those?
Yeah. About that…
After I caved on the coffee front, I just sort of lost steam. Yup. I was 2 1/2 days into my big health kick and I pretty much gave up.
I did run once…and hated it. I ate some apples… dipped in Nutella. I drank loads of water…that one morning after I had drank a lot of wine the night before.
I actually think in my effort to become more healthy, I became less healthy (if that is even possible).
I failed. On. Every. Level. I failed.
What is wrong with me? And, more importantly, why am I telling you all this?
Good question. I’m not entirely sure.
It is pretty embarrassing to admit that I am weak and I am definitely not proud of myself. But I try to document real life on this little blog. And failure at self-improvement is real life. It is my real-life anyway. Can I get an AMEN? Please? Just a teeny-tiny whisper of an amen will do. Okay…just mouth the word. You don’t even have to say it out loud…just please tell me that I am not the only one who fails at this type of shit.
That being said…I don’t want to quit on my health. I want to commit to improving myself but I clearly need a better plan than relying on my sub-par will power. I think I have more than demonstrated that that path is pretty ineffective for me.
Here is where you come in…I need your inspiration and help and IDEAS!
Have you ever been in a health rut? Is there any program you have tried or strategy you have implemented to help you get/stay healthy? How can I train my will power? Is that even a thing? Or is being skinny and hot totally overrated? Should I just keep eating cookies?
I’m seriously all ears (and belly….ha ha ha!). Go.