This Indecision's Bugging Me
To be sure, you would have to ask my mom because my memory sucks, but I think I have been indecisive since birth.
Case in point:
Back in August (I think it was August, but to be fair, it might have been June. See? Memory problems.) “we” decided that “we” (okay…I) wanted a new look for our family room. Wanting a new look for a room is more a less my resting state. Brado loves this quality about me. Swear.
Let’s revisit some past iterations of this room, shall we?
Notice the many changes that have occurred over the years; different wall color, rug vs. no rug, sleeping newborn vs. no newborn and every possible arrangement of throw pillows known to mankind (I am VERY bad at throw-pillowing, you can read all about that here).
Anyway, regardless of the many variations we have tried, they always felt a bit dark and heavy. And I want a light and airy, dammit.
So what did we do?
First, we replaced our very pretty (but kind of busy) oriental rug with a nice neutral off white Ikea jobby to lighten up the dark floors. Then, to bring in some color we had a beautiful, but totally lopsided, Kilim rug made into a sweet ottoman/coffee table. See the before and after below.
Before: (notice the slopping angle of the rug…great for hills…not a great feature for a rug)
And here is the after:
Although we really loved (and still do love) our old coffee table, we just wanted something a little more fun. And what is more fun than a Kilim coffee table, I ask?
Nothing. Nothing is more fun.
Especially if you are a 5 year old or a 2 year old and now you can jump from the couch to the coffee table with total ease.
Admittedly, we did not TOTALLY think this one through before committing to a jump-compatible coffee table. I suppose if I was forced to look on the bright side of this I would have to say that their jumping skills have really improved. Beau almost looks like an actual ninja and Finley has the flying squirrel down pat. #proudmama
The other thing we did was took down our beloved travel gallery wall and hung 8 white frames in their place. The idea was to keep it all symmetrical and shit. You know to add some semblance of order to our lives. It was to be a one-two punch; the white frames would lighten things up and orderly frames would make me appear a little less like a gallery wall hoarder. (In case you are out of the loop on this, read here and catch up. I was on a gallery wall rampage there for a little while. It was high time to admit I had a problem and reel it in).
But what to put in the frames?
I really wanted to be all arsty-fartsy and fill them with some cool family photos. But not the generic everyone-is-looking-at-the-camera-and-smiling ones (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that…please don’t send me hate mail). I just wanted something a little different; think light flares, stunning backdrops, beautiful silhouettes and fun props that made the photo pop. Think A Beautiful Mess.
Okay…seeing how we don’t actually possess ANY photo (much less 8) that fits the above description, I knew this was going to be a challenge. I really had two options:
a. make it my mission in life to take some artsy-fartsy photos of my family or
b. change my plan.
Naturally, what I did was:
c. none of the above
Because I could not freaking decide.
So for the last 6+ months this is what we (and all of our friends) have been staring at when we walk in the door to our house.
Eight Ikea RIBBA frames. Empty and despondent. Lined up like pathetic little solders just waiting for the day when they are told they can finally fulfill their life’s purpose.
Actually for the last 2 weeks there have only been 7 empty frames, as I made a very half-hearted attempt to start filling them. I got as far as filling one frame with a painting of a Chinese shoe and then realized that Chinese shoes was really not the vibe I was going for. So I quit.
I recently heard someone say that “Procrastination is really just fear in disguise”. That resonated with me. When we put things off, we are really just acknowledging that we are fearful of the process or, often even, the outcome. I think you can say the same thing about indecision. Indecision is grounded in fear—of making a mistake, of being judged, of being wrong.
Duh! Why else would it be so hard to make a decision?
I get that. I mean if you are trying to decide whether or not to quit your job or break-up with your boyfriend. It makes total sense for fear to sneak in and paralyze that process.
But seriously, am I really afraid of putting pictures in frames? That seems a tad ridiculous, doesn’t it? Even for a woman, like myself, with irrational fears-o-plenty.
But the more I pondered it, the more I began to think maybe I am afraid of those damn picture frames.
Well…let’s be clear…not the frames themselves, but rather of filling them with something less than perfect. I want them to be filled with THE perfect photos. And somewhere down the line, I must have told myself, if it is not perfect, why bother?
Wow. What a troublesome mentality! Maybe not so worrisome when talking about picture frames, but it got me thinking, how many other times have I used a similar mindset to rationalize indecision? How many times have I not done something because the outcome might not be exactly what I expected or hoped for? How many times have I settled for conscious neglect over purposeful mediocrity? Oh my gosh. So. Many. Times.
In fact, I find this theme repeating itself again and again in my life; with exercise, eating habits and the big one…everything career-related.
Well 2016 is the year I am finally going to try and confront this indecision/procrastination/fear bad boy head on. More on the “how” part later (I still have to figure that part out…send tips my way!).
In the mean time, I am just gonna give myself a little pep talk. Feel free to stick around if you need to hear it too.
You asked yourself why you should bother trying if it is not going to be perfect. Let me give you 7 solid reasons.
Because being afraid of later steals you of your happiness now
Because imperfection is actually more interesting than perfection. Fact. Also, perfection is a myth.
Because they are just frames (or vegetables or weights or whatever) and this is not a real problem
Because anything done half-assed will look a thousand times better than doing nothing (Oh…and self: Feel free to apply this same concept to ‘eating healthy’ or ‘working out’)
Because it will make your husband so, so happy (mostly, because you will be happy).
Because it might even end up being perfect!
Because you have had 8 empty picture frames hanging on your walls for 6+ months and that is at least 5 months too long
I’m curious…am I just a crazy person or are there pieces of your life that are also being held back by fear, indecision, perfectionism and/or procrastination?
If so, I would like to politely challenge you to join me in “filling in the friggin’ frames already” (so to speak) and moving forward. We can do this, right?
I’m giving us a two-week deadline. So make a plan and hop to it! And by all means, keep me honest. I beg you! DEMAND to see photographic evidence of filled in frames in two weeks time.
Okay then…off to the printers I go.